Do you find that change has a way of creeping up on you?
Sometimes change arrives loudly – perhaps a restructure at work, a sudden announcement, a relationship ending, or a health concern you didn’t expect. Other times it’s quieter, more subtle: a slow accumulation of small changes that, over time, leave us feeling unsettled, tired, or strangely on edge without quite knowing why.
We know that change is part of life. After all, nothing is permanent. And yet, you may still find yourself saying:
“I know change is part of life,” “But it feels harder to cope than it used to.”
Particularly over recent years, change hasn’t felt like an occasional disruption; it has become a constant backdrop. Just as one thing settles, another world disruption appears, affecting both our working lives and our home lives. Plans can feel provisional, and certainty feels harder to come by, so the nervous system rarely gets the message that it’s safe to fully stand down.
Why change can feel so draining
When we talk about coping with change, we often focus on behaviour – what we should do differently. There is merit in this, but before we get there, it helps to understand what change does to us emotionally.
Change tends to stir up very predictable human responses: fear of the unknown, a sense of lost control, grief for what’s familiar, and anxiety about what might lie ahead. Even positive change can carry loss with it – perhaps the loss of routine, identity, or consistency.
In workplaces, these reactions are often compounded. We absorb the emotions of those around us. Anxiety, in particular, can be contagious, as uncertainty spreads quickly through teams. Worry, frustration or resistance develop if people don’t feel informed, involved or supported.
These responses are not personal failings. It’s how humans are wired. We are definitely not alone.
When change becomes constant, even the most resilient people can start to feel depleted. The strategies that once worked don’t always stretch far enough. That’s often the point where we become self-critical: “Why am I finding this so hard?”
The kinder, and more skilful, question is:
“What support does my system need right now?”
How we cope (and why awareness matters)
When change hits, we tend to fall back on familiar coping patterns. Some people try to problem-solve their way through everything, searching for certainty where there may be none. Others focus on managing emotions, perhaps by talking things through or seeking reassurance. Some withdraw or distract themselves, hoping things will settle if they don’t look too closely.
Most of us use a mix of these responses, and none are inherently wrong, we are all simply trying to do our best. The difficulty comes when we rely on one approach rigidly, or when our coping style no longer fits the situation we find ourselves in.
If you are experiencing profound change but nothing feels supportive, developing awareness of how you are responding to change is a good start for creating space to respond more intentionally, rather than react automatically. This isn’t about self-judgement. It’s about choice. When we notice our patterns, we can develop wise skilful action.
The emotional journey of change
It’s important to remember that change is not just practical. It’s emotional.
Many people move through recognisable phases – shock or disbelief, frustration or anger, sadness or grief, and eventually, if supported, some form of acceptance and re-orientation. These stages aren’t linear, and they don’t come with a timetable. You can feel relatively steady one day and knocked sideways the next. We have a tendency to want a fixed method to manage change but our bodies and minds aren’t built this way.
What helps here is permission. Permission to go at your own pace, there are no rules. Granting yourself permission to acknowledge that some days will feel heavier than others and permission to stop expecting yourself to “be over it” before you’re ready is key. This can be challenging but allowing ourselves to go slow acknowledging that change can be painful will be supportive in the long run. Staying grounded in the moment is a big part of giving yourself permission to go at your own pace.
Staying grounded in the moment when anxiety peaks
When uncertainty is high, the mind often rushes ahead to worst-case scenarios.
What if this doesn’t work out?
What if I can’t cope?
What if everything changes again?
In those moments, grounding matters more than insight.
Simple practices such as pausing, slowing the breath, and noticing sensations in the body can interrupt the stress response and bring us back into the present moment. These techniques won’t remove the situation, but they can reduce its grip.
One of the most powerful shifts is learning to observe thoughts rather than treating them as facts. Anxiety is convincing, but it isn’t always accurate. Two powerful tecnhiques that are proven to work:
The STOP technique
Elisha Goldstein’s STOP model is a simple but powerful way of interrupting the stress response when emotions start to run high. The invitation is to Stop for a moment, Take a breath, Observe what’s happening in your body, thoughts and emotions (without judging them), and then Proceed with greater awareness and intention.
What I like about this model is that it doesn’t try to get rid of difficult feelings or rush you into “fixing” anything. Instead, it creates a pause – just enough space to step out of autopilot and choose a response that supports you, rather than reacting from overwhelm.
You can find my helpful STOP infographic here: STOP
The power of gratitude
Gratitude can be incredibly powerful in the moment, particularly when thoughts and emotions feel overwhelming. It is often misunderstood as forced positivity. In reality, it is a grounding practice that helps shift the brain out of threat mode.
Gratitude involves gently and deliberately orienting attention towards small, neutral or comforting details in the present moment – with warmth, stillness and safety. This subtle shift supports our “rest and digest” system (the parasympathetic nervous system), lowering stress hormones, slowing the heart rate, and easing physical symptoms of anxiety.
The aim is not to eliminate anxiety instantly, but to reduce its intensity enough for the body to settle. Cultivating gratitude towards small things – the warmth of sunshine on your skin, sharing a coffee with a friend, the book you are reading, or something that made you smile – can be surprisingly steadying.
Read my blog on the power of gratitude here: BLOG
Preparing for change at work
One of the most helpful things we can do when change is coming at work is to pause and look backwards before we rush forwards. When we’re under pressure, it’s easy to forget that we’ve navigated change before, often more successfully than we give ourselves credit for.
I often encourage people to reflect on questions such as: What helped me adapt the last time things changed? For some, it was talking openly with colleagues. For others, it was creating more structure in their day, changing their workspace, or checking in regularly with a manager. These small, practical actions can make a surprising difference when everything feels unsettled.
It can also help to recognise your strengths. You might be good at working independently, problem-solving, or finding new ways of doing things. You may remember that anxiety was part of the process last time, that you felt more tired than usual, and that routine or consistency helped you regain your footing. None of that means the change was easy – but it does mean you learned something about what supports you.
Looking ahead, preparation isn’t about eliminating uncertainty. It’s about gently asking: What might be the biggest challenge this time? What opportunities could exist, even if I can’t see them clearly yet? Who or what could support me when things feel difficult? Sometimes, simply knowing that you’ll check in with colleagues, explore available resources, or have an open conversation about support can reduce the sense of facing change alone.
Preparing in this way doesn’t remove discomfort, but it can restore a sense of steadiness and a reminder that while change may be outside our control, how we meet it doesn’t have to be.
Remember: you still have more choice than it feels like
One of the most reassuring truths I return to again and again is this: even when we can’t control what’s happening around us, we still have choice in how we respond.
That choice might be small. It might simply be choosing to rest rather than push, to ask for help rather than struggle alone, allowing ourselves to cry, or meeting ourselves with compassion instead of criticism.
Staying positive doesn’t mean being cheerful or optimistic all the time. It means trusting that difficult moments are not permanent, and that better ones can coexist – even in this moment.
Minds That Work services to support teams experiencing change and uncertainty
Compassionate Leadership – Supporting leaders to lead with clarity, empathy and confidence during times of uncertainty, helping teams feel psychologically safe, understood and supported through change.
IACT for Managers – Practical, evidence-based training that equips managers with the skills to recognise mental health challenges, have supportive conversations, and respond effectively when team members are struggling.
IACT for Employees – Empowering individuals with tools to understand their own mental wellbeing, manage stress and anxiety, and seek support early during periods of change and transition.
Bite-size Workshops – Short, focused sessions designed to help teams build resilience, manage uncertainty, and develop practical coping strategies without adding to an already full workload.
Mindfulness Courses – Evidence-based mindfulness programmes that support individuals and teams to build focus, emotional regulation and resilience, helping them respond more skillfully to stress, change and uncertainty at work.