10 Realistic Ways Men Can Support Women Through Menopause
Menopause is often framed and discussed as a women’s issue, but if you work with women, manage them or lead an organisation, it’s a workplace conversation too.
Over the past eight weeks, I’ve been running free discovery calls with businesses of all sizes, and one common theme that keeps coming up is how men can support women through menopause without it feeling awkward, uncomfortable or disingenuous.
A lot of men want to help but worry about saying the wrong thing. They wonder whether it’s appropriate to ask about menopause or assume that because they don’t know much about it, they’re not really in a position to support someone.
DWP research found that 64% of employers agreed workplaces should support employees experiencing menopause, yet only 5% reported providing menopause-related training.
The good news is, you don’t need to be a GP or a menopause expert to support women in your organisation.
So, if you’re a man wondering what you can actually do to support women, here are 10 realistic ways you can support women through menopause at work, without making assumptions, overstepping boundaries or feeling like you need to have all the answers.
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Don’t avoid the conversation, even though it’s tempting
One of the biggest barriers I’ve seen, heard and witnessed when it comes to supporting women through menopause can simply be not talking about it.
You might worry that mentioning menopause will make someone uncomfortable or that you’ll say the wrong thing.
However, avoiding the subject altogether can make it much harder for someone to ask for help when they need it. For years, menopause has been seen as taboo and shrouded in so much shame that we’re now having to unravel years of silence and misunderstanding around it.
You don’t need to start with a big or intrusive conversation.
A simple, private question such as “Is there anything we can do to make things easier for you at work?” can open the door. You don’t need to have all the answers or plan weeks full of awareness events. Awareness is important and has its place, but sometimes it’s the smaller things that make the biggest difference.
So, if a woman says she’s navigating menopause, or you choose to ask a question, don’t be afraid to engage in the conversation. Trust yourself and be compassionate.
You could simply ask: “How are you finding things?” “Is there anything you’d like me to understand?” or “Is there anything we can do to make things easier for you at work?”
Try not to make assumptions
Menopause doesn’t look the same for every woman, and neither does the support she may need. So don’t assume that someone is struggling because of menopause, that they want to talk about it or that a particular adjustment will automatically help.
Instead, ask.
If you’re a manager, give someone the opportunity to tell you what they need rather than deciding for them. If you’re a colleague, be mindful that your role is to offer support, not to make assumptions about someone’s health or experience.
Of course, it’s easy to make assumptions. We do it about most things, often without even realising it. But when it comes to menopause, it’s particularly important not to automatically put people into the same box.
One of the best ways to feel more comfortable navigating these conversations is to understand just how varied the menopause experience can be. The more you know about the different ways menopause can affect people, the easier it becomes to listen with an open mind and respond with greater confidence.
It’s also worth remembering that menopause isn’t experienced only by women. Transgender men and some non-binary people can also experience menopause. Using inclusive language where appropriate can help ensure everyone feels able to access support.
Here are some examples of gender neutral language:
Instead of “women”
Depending on the context:
People experiencing menopause
People going through menopause
People experiencing menopause symptoms
Employees experiencing menopause
Colleagues experiencing menopause
People who are navigating menopause
Those experiencing menopause
People affected by menopause
Instead of “women’s health”
You could use:
Menopause and reproductive health
Midlife health
Menopause health
Hormonal health (although this is broader than menopause)
Health and wellbeing
Get comfortable saying “menopause”
If menopause is treated as something embarrassing, awkward or inappropriate to mention, people can quickly pick up on that. If women feel that talking about menopause might change how they’re perceived at work, they may choose to stay silent.
You don’t need to become an expert in menopause. Instead, you need to feel comfortable having a respectful conversation about it.
Menopause is a normal part of life - around 13 million women in the UK are peri- or post-menopausal. Treating it as a normal workplace conversation can help make it easier for others to talk about what they need.
We’ve become so used to avoiding the word that there are plenty of alternatives people use instead:
“The change”
“The change of life”
“That time of life”
“A certain age”
“Hormonal changes”
“Hormones”
“Women’s issues”
“Women’s problems”
“That stage”
“Going through something”
“The M word”
“The pause”
Have you heard some of those? Maybe I’ve missed a few.
Although these alternatives might feel easier to say, they can reinforce the idea that menopause is something we should feel uncomfortable talking about. The more we avoid saying the word, the harder it becomes to have open, honest conversations about what women may actually be experiencing.
Be confident knowing what your role is and isn’t
When a problem arises in the workplace, it can be easy to jump into a problem-solving mindset, especially if you’re in a role where you support colleagues or lead a team. But something to remember is that when supporting a woman through menopause, you don’t need to be a problem solver in the traditional sense.
Remember I said you don’t need to be a menopause expert or have all the answers? Well, this is the one tip I’m reinforcing here. You don’t need to diagnose symptoms, provide medical advice or know the answer to every question.
As a colleague or manager, your role is to listen, respond appropriately and help someone find the right support when they need it, within the boundaries of the workplace you work for.
If you’re a manager, that might mean understanding your organisation’s menopause policy, occupational health provision, employee assistance programme or other available support, so you know where to signpost someone.
If you’re a colleague supporting another colleague, that might simply mean knowing how to signpost them to the appropriate support within your organisation.
You don’t have to be the answer. Sometimes your role is helping someone find the right support.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions and be curious
There are practical changes that can make a real difference for someone experiencing menopause symptoms, but there isn’t a single adjustment that works for everyone.
Depending on the individual and their role, this might involve thinking about temperature, breaks, access to facilities (for women experiencing unexpected bleeding and flooding), flexibility, working patterns, workload or the physical working environment.
And this applies to remote, hybrid and on-site employees too. Although it can be a lot to consider, simply asking someone, “Is there anything we could change that would make work a little more supportive for you?” can help put the person experiencing menopause at the centre of deciding what support would actually help.
The easiest and hardest tip: Just listen
It sounds simple, but it can often be one of the hardest things to implement, especially in a workplace where people are trying to have their voices heard and recognised. When it comes to conversations about menopause, listening is arguably one of the most crucial things you can do.
You might want to offer advice, suggest an adjustment or tell someone about another person you know who went through something similar. Maybe you want to fill an awkward silence or keep the conversation moving. Although you might have the best intentions, allowing space to listen is often the most productive and compassionate thing you can do.
A House of Commons Women and Equalities Committee survey found that fewer than a third of respondents had told anyone at work about experiencing menopause or menopause symptoms. Privacy and concerns about how people would react were among the main reasons people chose not to tell anyone.
This tells us something important. Before we think about what support to offer, we need to create an environment where someone feels comfortable enough to talk in the first place.
So, if someone opens up to you, resist the urge to immediately find a solution. Listen. Ask questions. Give them space to explain what they’re experiencing and what they need.
You might simply say:
“Thank you for telling me. How are you finding things at the moment?”
Sometimes, listening without judgement is one of the most supportive things you can do.
Confusion is normal, don’t feel ashamed
Menopause can be confusing, even for the person experiencing it. One reason is that we often use the word menopause to describe a much longer transition.
In simple terms:
Perimenopause is the period leading up to menopause, when hormone levels fluctuate and symptoms can begin. Periods may become irregular, and symptoms can vary significantly from person to person.
Menopause is reached after someone has gone 12 consecutive months without a period, assuming there isn’t another medical explanation. It’s a point in time rather than a period that lasts for years.
Post-menopause is the stage after menopause, when someone has not had a period for 12 months or more. Some symptoms may continue into this stage, although experiences vary.
So, when someone says they’re “going through menopause”, they may actually be experiencing perimenopause, menopause or post-menopause, and their experience can look very different from someone else’s.
Lots of men have told me they don’t know much about menopause. But the reality is, many women don’t know much about it either until they find themselves experiencing it.
You don’t need to memorise every symptom or understand every hormonal change at every stage. But having a basic understanding of the different stages can help you appreciate why someone’s experience might not be straightforward or predictable.
You might not understand exactly what someone is experiencing, and that’s OK. We encounter people every day who are carrying something we know nothing about. So be curious, listen and give them space to explain what they’re going through in their own words.
It’s more than hormones
And this leads me quite naturally to point eight…
When we talk about menopause, it’s easy to reduce the conversation to hormones and physical symptoms: hot flushes, night sweats and changes to periods. These are some of the symptoms you’ve likely heard about.
But menopause can affect far more than that.
Recent UK government research found that among female and non-binary workers who were currently experiencing or had experienced menopause or perimenopause symptoms, 61% said they felt less able to concentrate, 53% felt more stressed and 47% felt less confident in their abilities. Overall, 82% said their symptoms had at least some impact on their ability to work.
The impact can also extend beyond the symptoms themselves. Someone might be navigating changes to their confidence, identity, relationships, sleep, mental wellbeing or the way they see themselves, all while managing the demands of work and life.
There can also be other pressures happening at the same time. For some people, menopause coincides with caring responsibilities, changes in family life, career pressures or other significant life events.
So try not to reduce someone’s experience to “it’s just your hormones.”
Hormones may be part of the picture, but they aren’t the whole story.
Listen to the whole person, not just the symptoms.
That means being interested in how someone is actually doing, rather than trying to fit their experience into a list of menopause symptoms. And again, you don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be willing to understand that there may be more going on than you can see.
Menopause is not a workplace risk
One of the most important points is remembering that menopausal women are are not inherently a safety risk.
We must avoid suggesting that someone becomes less capable, reliable or safe simply because they are experiencing menopause.
Risk may arise when symptoms interact with a task, workplace hazard, working environment or pattern of work, and when adequate controls or support are not in place.
That might mean considering factors such as:
The task someone is carrying out
The working environment
Working patterns, including shifts or long hours
Existing workplace hazards
Whether appropriate controls are in place
The level of management support available
The focus should be on understanding how the work and working environment may interact with someone's individual circumstances, then considering what can be done to manage any potential risks appropriately.
This distinction matters. The person is not the problem.
Be an ally and changemaker
The impact of being a supportive ally doesn’t stop at the workplace.
The knowledge and confidence you gain can also shape how you support the women in your wider life - partners, spouses, sisters, friends, nieces and colleagues.
By becoming more comfortable talking about menopause, asking questions and challenging stigma, men can help make menopause a more normal part of everyday conversation, both at work and in society.
You’re not just supporting individual women; you’re helping create a culture where menopause and menstrual health can be talked about openly, without shame or stigma.
Want to feel more confident supporting women through menopause?
At Minds That Work, I provide practical menopause training designed to help managers and colleagues better understand menopause, feel more confident having conversations and know how to provide appropriate support at work.
Supporting women through menopause shouldn’t feel awkward or like something you’re afraid to get wrong. Get in touch to find out how I can support your organisation.